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Journal Entry: Tue Nov 18, 2008, 1:45 AM


SAMANTHAS JOURNAL






Update

I've kinda sat here for about 10-20 minutes pondering over what to say.
I'm...so stressed.
I don't think I can pass. Not at all.
And theres something else on my mind...
...I see all my friends with their boyfriends/girlfriends and I'm really jealous.
I just want Jasmine here.
To live here.
I don't want to have a long distance relationship anymore.
I want her here. I just want her here...
It's so painful, I can't stand it at all.
And despite being so upset by that...
Home life seems odd lately. My mum is never home, my brother won't move out and no one visits or calls anymore. We're not that boring...
Why do I get so upset and angry around Christmas?
And I need to get another dA subscription, so I have to save $50 for that. So I can get a one year, and I gotta save up $200 or so for an electric acoustic guitar, amp and tuner. I hope I can save enough. I get them from eBay and they're quality guitars.

Okay I'll stop ranting.
...to get your sympathy,
I feel like shit and I want to lay down and die.





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  • Mood: Sadness
  • Listening to: your mum
  • Reading: to your mum
  • Watching: your mum
  • Playing: with your mum
  • Eating: your mum
  • Drinking: in your mum

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 1 1 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0

Seems that we are going through the sameee thing.. Except my best friend stabbed me in the back. :D But I know how you feel. All of friends with there boyfriends and I am sitting there all like.. attentionplz... Cause they are ranting over each other.. -snugs- It'll be okay.

--
I know what I'll do,I'll turn him into a flee...a harmless little flee..then I'll put that flee in a box! And! put that Box In Another Box! THEN ILL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!
=c yeah, i know how you feel on the long distance relationship part ^^;.
i know its difficult to realize but, im sure you'r relationship with jasmine will last a heck of alot longer than the relationships other's around you might be having, ya know? and that shows character and integrity.

Sometimes the people around you that seem so strong in their 'love' really are just suffering from 'attachment' and 'affection.
The thing i learned a long time ago is love is a commitment.
its not a emotion.
with that commitment comes attachment and affection. but you can have love without that, and you can have that without love.
When you truly /love/ somebody... well i dont need to explain the emotions involved cuz im sure you've felt them already :3.

and,
if nobody else,
i dont mind your ranting one bit :3.
Sometimes its good to vent, infact at the age of 14-17 thats all you do practically XDDDD. not saying that to generalize (i hate generalizing XD) but after going through so much with so many people (namely *Nocturia , =drool, and *HappehEmo ) you kind learn that. XD.

nevertheless, you're in my prayers, Sammie :3. and i hope you fell better.

--
"HE'S MY INTERNET HUSBAND?!?!?" *Nocturia
"muahaha no... im ur internet housewife!" ~vaclon

~Imperial-Lily,*Nocturia,*seynadarkwolf,*HappehEmo, ~Storm-Blue, ~DeathCaller13, and ~DIGITALxjunkeE they rawk! :D
I feel the same, my love.
Every day my friends are always saying "oh, today, we should go looking for snoggable boys." and I'm just like, "...no thanks."
Infact, just today I desperatley wanted you here. I want you to get older so you can come to uni with me <3
And I love your ranting.
I don't know why, but I love it <3

--
.:~I'll Be With You Forever~:.
~//~Quite spiffing, eh Charles?~\\~
damn yeah that must be very hard D:
I see my boyfriend 6/7days.
I would die to only see him once a month or something ^^
take care girl.

glad i'm not the only who's feeling like crap.

--
Avatar by =danji-isthmus
▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
Brown eyed heartless creature.
:bulletred::bulletorange::bulletyellow::bulletgreen::bulletblue::bulletpurple:
I am not going to say I know how you feel about Jasmine. Because in reality... no one knows exactly how you are feeling and could never relate exactly. But I'm in the same situation...

I've fallen (this time with someone to catch me) and all I want to do is be with him now. It haunts me every day, filling me with this... this sort of guilt? As if the distance is my fault. I feel as if it is... It hurts to be so far from the ones you love. I see people being cuddly-cozy with their boyfriends or girlfriends and I feel like walking up to them and screaming at them. Telling them to be thankful for what they have and not take advantage of it.... -sigh-

I can't say anything that will make you feel better, because really... nothing will stop the strings from pulling on your heart until your with her. I just hope you get that some day soon, Samie darling. You deserve it. <3

ily. n.n<3


--
✖.Dontcha wanna DANCE with me?
Why dontcha take a CHANCE with me?
I wanna see you NEXT to me,
Havin' SEX with me,
Girl you're my ECSTASY.✖
*ClubBaltosTreasure - Join Today!
It's just so painful. I really can't stand being so far from you all the time.
But... I have 3 years and a month until I'm out of school. One year and a month until I see you.
I can live by it, but I have to be patient and make sure this longing doesn't get to me too much.
I love you <3
Thank you very much Josh, that really made me feel a lot better after a shitty day.. the teachers at my school are so pushy with exams and everything and I don't have long to study anymore.
I shouldn't even be on here with all this darn studying...
but really thank you <3
ARGH i feel tears coming on for some reason.
You just said exactly what I wanted to hear... <3
Not the fact I have to feel pain until I can really have her with me, but... you just said what I feel.

That anger at my friends who take the advantage of having love so close when my love is so far.
And the painful longing, thinking it's my fault she's so far...

Thank you maya <33
love you too :heart:
Yeah... you're lucky. you get to have him everyday, i havent even had her once.

but thanks <3

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